The holiday season, often associated with joy and togetherness, can be especially challenging for those grieving the loss of a loved one. Celebrations and long-held traditions may deepen the sense of absence, serving as painful reminders of what has been lost. Supporting someone during this time is essential, yet it can be difficult to know what to say or do. The fear of missteps may even lead to avoiding the topic altogether.
Understanding Grief During the Holidays
Grief is a deeply personal journey with no set timeline. Avoid assuming that someone should have “moved on” after a certain period. The holidays often intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, or longing, as they bring up shared memories and societal expectations of joy. Grief can arise unexpectedly, and those mourning may experience a complex mix of emotions—moments of joy mixed with deep sorrow.
How to Support Someone Grieving
1. Acknowledge Their Loss
Openly recognize their loved one by saying something like, “I’m thinking of you and [their loved one’s name] this season.” Encourage them to cherish the memories of their loved one while also creating new, meaningful holiday traditions.
2. Listen Without Judgment
Let them express their feelings without trying to “fix” their grief. Your presence and a listening ear can be enough. Acknowledge that you may not have the perfect solution or the “right words,” but reassure them that you’re there for them.
3. Offer Practical Help
Grief can be overwhelming, especially during the holidays. Instead of making general offers to help, suggest specific ways you can assist, such as running errands, helping with holiday preparations, or cooking meals. This approach reduces the pressure on them to identify their needs and makes it easier for them to accept support.
4. Respect Their Choices
Grieving individuals might prefer to skip certain traditions or gatherings. Respect their boundaries and avoid pressuring them. Discuss their preferences for holiday celebrations in advance and remain flexible with the plans.
5. Create Space for Remembrance
Encourage them to honor their loved one in a meaningful way, whether by lighting a candle, sharing a cherished memory, or creating a small tribute. Respect their preferences and avoid pressuring them to uphold traditions that might deepen their grief.
6. Be Patient
Grief is not a linear process. Be patient and understanding if their mood shifts or they withdraw unexpectedly.
7. Make Kind Gestures
Send a card, leave a heartfelt note, share a hug, or offer a thoughtful gift.
8. Encourage Self-Compassion
If you’re supporting someone grieving, remind them to be gentle with themselves. Encourage self-care, whether it’s taking quiet moments to rest, journaling, or engaging in activities that bring them comfort.
A Final Thought
The holidays can be a bittersweet time for those experiencing loss, but with compassion and support, you can help make their journey a little easier. Small acts of kindness and genuine care can go a long way in showing them they are not alone.
If you have any further questions about Memory Care and whether it may be an appropriate fit for your loved one, please get in touch with me at [email protected] or 781-878-6700 x270. You can also click here or call us to learn more about Memory Care Assisted Living services at Duxbury House Memory Care Residence.
Article authored by:
Laurie Guthrie, MSW, LCSW, CDP
Welch Senior Living
Regional Memory Care Coordinator
Senior Clinical Social Worker
781-878-6700 x270